standing by

since when did i learn to hold on?
since when did i learn to hang around?
since when did i learn to standby?
since when??
since when??

ive realized it only lately,
and the answer is so indefinite.

dont wanna be in this, but i guess..... im already in the game.

你越 弹错，
我越 笑得起来 (:

its the way (:

maybe its the way that i get nervous when youre ard... its in the way that you move me and the way that you tease me, the way that i want you tonight.. its in the way that you hold me and the way that you know me and when i cant find the right words to say, you feel it in the way. theres something bout how you stay on my mind, theres something bout the way that i whisper your name when im asleep... maybe its the look you get in your eyes, oh baby its the way that it makes me feel to see you smile... and the reasons they may change.. but what im feeling stays the same. i cant put my fingers on just what it is that makes me love you... you know, baby.. so dont ask me to describe, I get all choked up inside just thinking bout the way...............

theres nothing more to say than I feel it in the way...

*just a song which has been rhyming in my head for the whole evenin. (:

maybe its time to give your loved ones a hug.

A

BIG
FAT
HUGGG
(:

yayy. i finally got hold of the steering wheel agn tonight. (:(: was thrilling, as well as hair-raising at the same time. been 8 months since i last did any driving, so skills are kinda rusty i knw. riding down from alexandra road to depot road... was a total blast. the distance was rather bounded, but it made my day (: we bunch of potential yet still-currently-illegal drivers, took turns to drive down from ikea@alexandra to holland v(where all the white beetles can be spotted) for dinner.

and after half an hour of grab-a-lot hunting, we finally settled down at this mexican eatery located just beside nydc, el patio.

whats great about this place is that we may scribble on their table while waiting for our dishes to be served.. just like this...

and this is the proper way of eating roll ups fajitas...

... and theres free flow of chips too. good luck getting a sore throat (:

*i SO wanna be stepping on the gas pedals soon......

say bye to goodbyes

now each goodbye makes me feel... shivery, uneasy and wrecked.

life used to be so good. mayb just too good to be true

just when u thought u had it all... things just had to end.
just like what my instinct tells me, things happened.
now its all in the heart...

life's changed.. for the worse.

i dont wanna act like a spoilt brat, or take advantage of the situation to win other people's concern.. but i cant delude myself, that im perfectly fine at this point of time. i Really wanna move on. i dont know what to do Then, thought i should be alone for awhile.. but then i realized that i needed someone to be there for me more than ever. i had this fear inside of me i just cant get rid of. im afraid to be alone now.. not even in the morning, not even when its all bright. i gotta need someone to bother me now and then, to keep my mind preoccupied 24/7, to stop my mind from wandering and wondering. im dead tired, yet i cant sleep. i Dont dare to sleep, even when the lights' all on. im Sick of this. i cant be clinging on to just anyone 24/7.. theyve got better things to do. and i..... still have my pride.. that pride which gets in my way all the time

this cant drag on any longer. i need my life back.. i wanna be set back to the crazy mode

when a chain of bad things happen in a row, u just cant stop thinking of whats life gonna be, whether this life's worth living Anymore. things are gonna be tough, and im afraid to face em. ive never been more certain about things. all the horrid, evil and disheartening events have been taking place this year. im complaining......... but does that help?? things shouldnt b moving towards this route. i dont feel good about things. theres still 3 more months to go before this year comes to a close. WHATS NEXT???? i can go berserk just thinking about it. I'M FREAKING OUT

i cant believe that this Gonna be a lesson ive to learn to urge myself to cherish the people around me cos it seems that im becoming more reliant and dependent on people instead