life used to be so good. mayb just too good to be true

just when u thought u had it all... things just had to end.
just like what my instinct tells me, things happened.
now its all in the heart...

life's changed.. for the worse.

i dont wanna act like a spoilt brat, or take advantage of the situation to win other people's concern.. but i cant delude myself, that im perfectly fine at this point of time. i Really wanna move on. i dont know what to do Then, thought i should be alone for awhile.. but then i realized that i needed someone to be there for me more than ever. i had this fear inside of me i just cant get rid of. im afraid to be alone now.. not even in the morning, not even when its all bright. i gotta need someone to bother me now and then, to keep my mind preoccupied 24/7, to stop my mind from wandering and wondering. im dead tired, yet i cant sleep. i Dont dare to sleep, even when the lights' all on. im Sick of this. i cant be clinging on to just anyone 24/7.. theyve got better things to do. and i..... still have my pride.. that pride which gets in my way all the time

this cant drag on any longer. i need my life back.. i wanna be set back to the crazy mode

when a chain of bad things happen in a row, u just cant stop thinking of whats life gonna be, whether this life's worth living Anymore. things are gonna be tough, and im afraid to face em. ive never been more certain about things. all the horrid, evil and disheartening events have been taking place this year. im complaining......... but does that help?? things shouldnt b moving towards this route. i dont feel good about things. theres still 3 more months to go before this year comes to a close. WHATS NEXT???? i can go berserk just thinking about it. I'M FREAKING OUT

i cant believe that this Gonna be a lesson ive to learn to urge myself to cherish the people around me cos it seems that im becoming more reliant and dependent on people instead